The rain fell a little harder that day. The daylight felt several shades darker. It was the day heaven wept.
I can still feel the pain in my heart, born in fire on that day. I knew it was coming; we all did. But there is a difference between knowing the fate that will eventually befall us all and experiencing the hands of that same fate snatching the person you love the most.
Introduction: When Heaven Wept
It was a day I will never forget. And as any story starting there goes, I had no idea this day would change the rest of my life. I certainly did not plan on it. The day started with a 6am shift at a grocery store. At this time in my life, it was just my routine. It was business as usual.
Then I went to lunch. Now, I’ve never been able to sleep in cars or planes. I cannot. But that day, around 11am, I entered a deep sleep in my car. I cannot explain it. I was not tired. As I remember, I slept well the night before.
But when I woke up, well after I was due to return, I jumped out of my car and approached the building. Something in the air was not right. The atmosphere felt… different. It was very gloomy. The sun was trying and failing to peak through the thick blanket of dark clouds.
It was starting to rain. Shortly after I punched back in, it was storming. A few moments later, I recall one of my managers informing me that we were under a tornado warning. But a few moments after that, as I was stocking bright and glossy grapefruits, I was paged over the intercom. “Luke, you have a call on line 101… Luke in produce, line 101.”
I answered to hear the voice of my mother’s husband. “Your mom passed.”
I could not leave fast enough. The automatic doors would not open quickly enough; I had to pry them apart. I darted through the pouring rain in the parking lot. I jumped in my car and drove off—with a flat tire, I should add.
It was as if “she passed” meant I still had time to say goodbye. I sped home while Creation was bawling all around me. She was already gone. I had known, for months, that this was coming. This knowledge did not prepare me; it made my heart bleed out instead of beating somberly.
She was gone. The heavens proclaimed it. Earth below felt it.
A Time for Everything
For everything there is a season and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill and a time to heal;
a time to break down and a time to build up;
a time to weep and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn and a time to dance;
a time to throw away stones and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek and a time to lose;
a time to keep and a time to throw away;
a time to tear and a time to sew;
a time to keep silent and a time to speak;
a time to love and a time to hate;
a time for war and a time for peace.~ Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 (NRSVue)
It’s strange to circle back to this famous poem seven years later. Strange because… it’s different. As well established in my other posts, much of my research centers on Ecclesiastes. But why?
The answer is multi-layered. But perhaps most significantly, it was my mother’s favorite book. Now, she (like me) often had a different favorite book of the Bible. But the one I remember her favoring the most was Ecclesiastes; this will always inform my interpretation of it.
We would probably—no, definitely—disagree on the meaning of Ecclesiastes today. But the poem has a fairly straightforward, universal message. And I’ll always remember her, in all her wisdom, quoting that first line.
Qoheleth speaks a truth applicable in every aspect of life from birth to death, weeping to laughter, a time for romance and a time to refrain, and so on. I do not see any of this as dualistic; I see it as honest. The weeping/laughter line especially. Would you laugh at a funeral? Would you weep bitterly at a stand-up show? I’ll redirect you to verse 1.
Many commentators argue that Qoheleth is appealing to Creation here, a key technique in the Wisdom literature. In preparation for an assignment in a class I’m currently taking, I came across one scholar who writes the following:
“I posit that in the Catalog of the Times [Ecc. 3:1-8], no less than in the Cosmology, Qohelet is engaging in intra-biblical exegesis, in this case a commentary and/or application of the Bible’s foundational theology: the creation of the world as structured by merisms.” ~ T.A. Perry, “The Catalog of Human Times,” p. 82.
This is not the post for a linguistic debate, but essentially this author argues that Qoheleth uses these opposing “times” to show totality. His argument is that the “merismic structure of reality applies to the human as well as the cosmic realm.”
In other words… we interpret Creation, and Creation interprets us.
Conclusion: Heaven Wept
Today, seven years later, Creation is bright and sunny, at least where I am. That does not mean the hurt is gone; no, the pain remains, and it always will. I will always miss her, and I will always wish that she was still here.
Qoheleth teaches us a great lesson in the Times Poem. The poem is read at nearly every funeral, to the point that it becomes cliché at times, but that is because we miss the deeper meaning. There is a time for every matter; this is not a “grievous ill,” as Qoheleth would otherwise call it. This is a reminder that we must embrace the totality of life, both the good and the ugly.
We should embrace it because we never truly know when our time is up. As cliché as that too may sound, it is indeed the lesson my grief taught me. Carpe diem, “seize the day,” a prominent theme in Ecclesiastes.
On February 12, 2019, heaven wept. Bitterly. Creation joined in tandem. It was perhaps the most painful day of my life. And each year, on this day, I am reminded of that pain.
But I am also reminded of the life of a woman who loved profusely. I am reminded of the mother of twelve children, who loved each of them beyond what words can describe. She loved her Savior and radiated that love to all she crossed paths with. And her death is not the end of her story. She will continue to live on, just as she does in my research and writing.
Heaven wept. But as Qoheleth reminds us, there is a time to weep. And there is also a time to embrace.